Correct Me, Correct Me Not
This post is inspired by a scene in one of the Korean dramas I've been watching during the Winter break. This particular scene shows a situation where the wealthy family invites another family over for dinner. The family serves the food along with a small bowl that's supposed to be used for hand washing before eating. Apparently, this custom is not quite well understood by people from different socio-economic backgrounds in South Korea. The invited family, that happens to be of lower middle class, has no clue of what to do with the bowls, and immediately drinks them as if those were bowls of soup. A few family members of the wealthy roll their eyes. The father role of the wealthy side does something that may be very unexpected for many, instead of saying something or making a correction.. he imitates what the other family does. If you were there, would you do what he does?
Some people may go ahead and correct the bowl drinking thing in a nice non-offensive manner, some other may just act like they don't see thing. Some roll their eyes. All of these decisions to me are just.. remarkable!
DIFFERENT SOCIALIZATION EQUALS DIFFERENT OUTCOME
Before making a judgment call to say that these lower middle class folks considered not cool, we may want to think from different perspectives. Upbringing, culture, and everything involved in socialization of one's entire life shapes what they are. And if we are trying to see a person coming from a totally different socio-cultural background, indeed they are so not cool to your measure. But wait, think of how that person perceives you from their perspectives, wouldn't you also be not cool as well? For this reason, people should not promote they way they see certain values to be superior AKA cool, which sees anything different as 'a pity'.
Hmmm, maybe it's easier if I come up with an example! Several years ago when I was still attending uni in Indonesia, a friend and I were at the bus station waiting for our departure to the city of Jogjakarta. This bloke is a European male (well obviously, he's a bloke), who was doing a research as a graduate student in my uni town. So yeah, he's just a few years older than I was. While waiting for our bus to depart, he told me that it confused him to see all the vendors at the stations. He uttered in a criticizing tone: "if they are not really doing anything, they should read paper or a book. Geez, none of them is reading a book". Deep down I said to myself.. "Excuse me, Sir? If you are not sure of what you and your family are going to eat tomorrow, do you still care about carrying books to read.. or even about reading itself?". Geeeezzz....
THE INSECURE TEENAGERS
Someone I know uttered this just last week: "If I were a teen growing up in Jakarta, I would not have my own identity. I would probably not dress my own style". Of course this is not the case with everybody, but I would say that it applies to most teens. If you visit Jakarta and observe the style of most girls hanging out at the giant malls.. it's easy to see. Yep, long hair, make up, brand-name clothes, ..things like that. It seems like there's a tacit agreement of what the definition of coolness is. Some attach this coolness thing as knowing what new movies are up, what top-ten songs are out there. And if you don't know the movies, songs, or books that these cool wannabes mention to you, they think it's such 'a pity'.
Truth is.. ask me if I care.
Truth is.. the true coolness is when you don't really care about conforming to others. You don't have to care whether or not you're up to the latest Disney movies, if you read Harry Potter books or watch Twilight, or if you can or can not ride a bike or drive a car. There's nothing to be ashamed of being different in that sense. Because why? Because you have to have faith in yourself, and know that you don't have to do or follow certain things just to fit in the rest of the world.
Truth is.. to me (as there are multiple truths out there) coolness is when you actually maintain your authentic way of living. And lucky is when I actually know a friend who lives this kind of way. It's an honor to witness this kind of human being.
I intended to write a few more paragraph but laziness sort of stopped me. Drop a comment, will ya?
Some people may go ahead and correct the bowl drinking thing in a nice non-offensive manner, some other may just act like they don't see thing. Some roll their eyes. All of these decisions to me are just.. remarkable!
DIFFERENT SOCIALIZATION EQUALS DIFFERENT OUTCOME
Before making a judgment call to say that these lower middle class folks considered not cool, we may want to think from different perspectives. Upbringing, culture, and everything involved in socialization of one's entire life shapes what they are. And if we are trying to see a person coming from a totally different socio-cultural background, indeed they are so not cool to your measure. But wait, think of how that person perceives you from their perspectives, wouldn't you also be not cool as well? For this reason, people should not promote they way they see certain values to be superior AKA cool, which sees anything different as 'a pity'.
Hmmm, maybe it's easier if I come up with an example! Several years ago when I was still attending uni in Indonesia, a friend and I were at the bus station waiting for our departure to the city of Jogjakarta. This bloke is a European male (well obviously, he's a bloke), who was doing a research as a graduate student in my uni town. So yeah, he's just a few years older than I was. While waiting for our bus to depart, he told me that it confused him to see all the vendors at the stations. He uttered in a criticizing tone: "if they are not really doing anything, they should read paper or a book. Geez, none of them is reading a book". Deep down I said to myself.. "Excuse me, Sir? If you are not sure of what you and your family are going to eat tomorrow, do you still care about carrying books to read.. or even about reading itself?". Geeeezzz....
THE INSECURE TEENAGERS
Someone I know uttered this just last week: "If I were a teen growing up in Jakarta, I would not have my own identity. I would probably not dress my own style". Of course this is not the case with everybody, but I would say that it applies to most teens. If you visit Jakarta and observe the style of most girls hanging out at the giant malls.. it's easy to see. Yep, long hair, make up, brand-name clothes, ..things like that. It seems like there's a tacit agreement of what the definition of coolness is. Some attach this coolness thing as knowing what new movies are up, what top-ten songs are out there. And if you don't know the movies, songs, or books that these cool wannabes mention to you, they think it's such 'a pity'.
Truth is.. ask me if I care.
Truth is.. the true coolness is when you don't really care about conforming to others. You don't have to care whether or not you're up to the latest Disney movies, if you read Harry Potter books or watch Twilight, or if you can or can not ride a bike or drive a car. There's nothing to be ashamed of being different in that sense. Because why? Because you have to have faith in yourself, and know that you don't have to do or follow certain things just to fit in the rest of the world.
Truth is.. to me (as there are multiple truths out there) coolness is when you actually maintain your authentic way of living. And lucky is when I actually know a friend who lives this kind of way. It's an honor to witness this kind of human being.
I intended to write a few more paragraph but laziness sort of stopped me. Drop a comment, will ya?
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